September 7, 2009
My husband got laid off about two months ago. Now we are relying on his unemployment check until May?
weeping wife asked:
He says he has plans and hopes on using his musical talent as a dj to to help support our family. I teach dance and do odd jobs here and there at home on my computer for a freight company. I'm the one that takes our son to school and picks him up because my husband has his license suspended and is not able to drive until he can pay off the debt and re establish his license. He is waiting for a check to buy some dj equipment to begin pursuing his dream. I respect his wishes and I'm hoping it works out for him; however, the time he is home he sits on a chair all day long playing a video game. I'm talking hours and hours, occassionally he gets up and cleans the house and cooks us dinner. This is something I appreciate. It bothers me a lot though, that he sits around all day long playing video games. If he's so passionate about his music career, he should begin making some moves now, passing out business cards and so forth, but he seems so much more passionate about playing video games than anything else. I understand this is a form of stress relief for him…I just wish he'd pick a more productive hobby. He has plans on renovating the bathroom so I am happy about that. But I have anxiety about him not having a job. He says he wishes he hadn't gotten laid off and is sad about getting laid off due to the bad economy. should I just sit back and allow him to do what he is doing as a stress relief and not btoher him? It bothers me because I feel it is so immature.
He has gotten business cards, but has not passed them out, they are just sitting there. I was the one that went to a couple of places and passed them out. I worry he is leaning too much on his unemployment checks and not having a back up plan. I just don't understand how he can sit on a chair all day playing video games knowing he has no job. I don't know what to say or do. He was a hard worker for two whole years waking up every single day to go to work. he says to just trust him, but deep down I don't see the motivation to make things happen.
He says he has plans and hopes on using his musical talent as a dj to to help support our family. I teach dance and do odd jobs here and there at home on my computer for a freight company. I'm the one that takes our son to school and picks him up because my husband has his license suspended and is not able to drive until he can pay off the debt and re establish his license. He is waiting for a check to buy some dj equipment to begin pursuing his dream. I respect his wishes and I'm hoping it works out for him; however, the time he is home he sits on a chair all day long playing a video game. I'm talking hours and hours, occassionally he gets up and cleans the house and cooks us dinner. This is something I appreciate. It bothers me a lot though, that he sits around all day long playing video games. If he's so passionate about his music career, he should begin making some moves now, passing out business cards and so forth, but he seems so much more passionate about playing video games than anything else. I understand this is a form of stress relief for him…I just wish he'd pick a more productive hobby. He has plans on renovating the bathroom so I am happy about that. But I have anxiety about him not having a job. He says he wishes he hadn't gotten laid off and is sad about getting laid off due to the bad economy. should I just sit back and allow him to do what he is doing as a stress relief and not btoher him? It bothers me because I feel it is so immature.
He has gotten business cards, but has not passed them out, they are just sitting there. I was the one that went to a couple of places and passed them out. I worry he is leaning too much on his unemployment checks and not having a back up plan. I just don't understand how he can sit on a chair all day playing video games knowing he has no job. I don't know what to say or do. He was a hard worker for two whole years waking up every single day to go to work. he says to just trust him, but deep down I don't see the motivation to make things happen.
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Comments on My husband got laid off about two months ago. Now we are relying on his unemployment check until May?
He sounds extremely immature. Waiting for a check to buy some dj equipment? License suspended? Needs to pay off a debt? I'm sorry, but he has absolutely no ambition. If you two have a son and he isn't working, he needs to get off his lazy behind and find ANY type of job that will bring in some salary. I feel bad for you. He's a loser.
he can find a min. wage job no problem! do his dj gig nights and weekends, a little money is better than none, get his as. out to work or leave him!
It is immature. My mothers husband did something similar over many years and it made our home life terrible because he was being so selfish. I am now adopted by my biological father because I didn't want the ol' mans' name anymore. I would try to stage an intervention and get him to see the error of his ways before I would do anything else. It is immature and it will hurt your family before anything comes of it.
This is a difficult situation ur in. I would first sit down with your husband and explain your feelings to him. Be careful with your words otherwise he will feel that you are attacking him and looking down on him. An hour or two a day of video games should be enough. He most likely is telling the truth about being laid off an being upset about it. That is a very traumatic experience for most people.
Try telling him that you support him in his dream and have been trying to think of ways to help his business prosper and share your ideas with him. If he has shsared the name if his dj buisness with you, maybe have a set of business cards made for him. It just may make the difference for him. Get a free set of business cards at
a good dj can be in demand and a guy can make a lot of money doing that………….as a hobby.
i would feel a lot better if he did this as a side job until he got enuf gigs to make it full time.
ambition is one thing but he needs to put motivation into action. It doesn't sound like it's going to happen. My husband loves rock band. But he has things to do before he plays.
everything comes with time, the longer he sits at home the harder it will be to get back out there. Let him take a breather, get his **** together, and then get a job. School is always a great alt. You have to make the choices that are best for your son, remember everything happens for a reason
First box up the video game, controllers, wires, games. Hide it at a friends house. Tell him what you said in your question and hopefully he will try more.
I'll be honest…I would be annoyed myself if I was in this situation. I can understand the first week after being laid off taking a break and what not, but with a family to support there's just not enough time to waste playing video games and what not.
If he's serious about this music career, he needs to persue that field then…just like you said.
Have you considered taking on a more full time role of work while he is unemployed? Maybe there is a way that he can play the Mr. Mom role while you do this to support the family until his music career takes off more. See if he is willing to commit to taking care of the kids, the household chores, and cooking the meals while you supplement the income for the time being. In his spare time if he works more at making this music career happen, then eventually you can once again lighten up on your working hours and there will be a better balance for both of you.
Good luck!
Being laid off stinks. Sorry to hear that you are one of the many statistics that has effected the economy as a whole. I am currently going through the same situation where I was laid off, and my husband is dealing well with it.(however, I am one of those people who fall through the cracks at the unemployment office so I don't even get a check!!!) I use the computer a lot as a stress reliever, however I am also doing what I can to find work in a very weak economy.I am currently employed through three different staffing agencies, and none of them have any work, and it has been close to a month! be thankful your husband is getting a check for now, and he might really be enjoying this break before the economy picks up again. He does need to get his **** in gear with that drivers license though, so he may want to pick up some odd jobs that won't effect his unemployment such as under the table jobs, like landscaping or babysitting or something. He isn't going to make that great of a DJ if he can't drive to his gigs though, then YOU will be transporting the kid AND the husband!
wish you the best of luck!
you have a freeloader..
Well, your husband shud not be playing too much of video games, instead he shud help you more with house chores and take care of the children. But you shud also understand him and not judge him without more consultation. U see, I've been retrenched bfr and it ****! as a husband I know my responsibilities and that is to provide food for the family. When I was out of job, I felt so stressed up. Other ppl and friends keep making fun of my situation. They wud come up to me and say mean things like; hey.. who's wearing the pants in your family? or do u have to ask ur wife for pocket money? or ur a weak husband and pity to see your wife doing all the work.. and so on..
Well, even though I clean the house, take care of the children, pay the bills and so on.. ppl still look at me as a useless husband..
Because of this, I had low self esteem. When ppl talk bad things about me, I felt very sad and sometimes angry. My point here is, I understand ur husband's situation. He plays the videogame as a means to escape frm reality but for a moment. He knows his responsibility but he does not know how to cope with it and plan for it. The reason he's giving comforting advise to u is because of man's ego. He feels he's the men and he shud be commanding the the family. This is where u come in.. God created women very special. She can be the sweet honey to men or she can be the poison. As a loving wife, u need to continue talk with him (communicate), support him, push him, be the strong lady behind every successful me, be the leader in times of crisis and be the compassionate wife u are. Sit down with ur husband, talk softly and plan with him. If he's not moving wit the plan, then u move the ball for him but wit his consent. Some men still stuck in childish world and need some motherly or fatherly push.
For your info, I was out of job for 3 years and my wife was the one providing food for the family. I felt ashame for that whole 3 years. Even my maid make fun of me.. Luckily my wife started working when I got the boot! if not for her, we might end up being separated. Because of this situation, I felt so ashame of myself. So, to improve the condition she always supported me to strive hard to do better for the family. During that time I took a Master's Degree, enrol in culinary lessons and plus I even take part in Madarin class just to keep me occupied. Now, that 3 years had passed, I now own a small cafe, and also work in a financial co. overseas, as a manager for chinese desk. I love my wife and this is my time to repay her.
We are all in bad situation right now, but we must stick together as family. A broken family is never good for the children. Planning and communicating is the best remedy, and don't forget to always refer back to your religious teachings. Let your husband continue with his persue to become a DJ but u must support him and to ensure that his dream does not get stuck somewhere in the middle.